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Manic Depression

© Dena Lambert

After going through what I thought was just a severe case of Post Partum Depression, it became apparent that I was going to need some help getting out of this. I was having suicidal thoughts, crying all the time and was terribly irritable, among other things.

I reluctantly made an appointment with my regular doctor and proceeded to make a list of all of my symptoms - I thought he would appreciate that. I was completely off base! The doctor gave me the chance to read off the first couple of items and then held up his hand as if to say "enough." I sat in silence while he wrote out a prescription for me and told me to call my insurance company about seeing a Psychiatrist. A Psychiatrist? I thought I was here for Post Partum Depression!

I cried all the way home and made the appointment right away. I couldn't imagine needing a Psychiatrist for my hormones being off a little after having the baby. Didn't everyone go through this?

My visit to the Psychiatrists office was interesting to say the least, and again, I brought along my little list. This doctor wasn't interested in the list either, he had a list of very personal questions of his own to ask. It didn't take him long to drop the bomb, I was Manic Depressive (the PC term is now Bipolar). He too handed me a prescription and said I would need some therapy. He told me it would be a long hard road, but he would help me through it.

I was in a state of shock all the way to the pharmacy. Along with my prescription I received one of those information sheets that tells you what you can expect along the lines of side effects. The first side effect listed said, "may cause suicidal ideation's." I had to laugh! He gave me a prescription that would make my suicidal thoughts even worse? Did he listen to me at all?

Well, in the visits to come we experimented with different drugs that might work better for me. Since I was seeing him almost every 2 weeks, I would be left with half empty bottles of left over meds laying around the house. Again I thought, 'okay, I did tell the man I was suicidal right?' A couple more visits came and went, I began to wonder when the therapy would start, so I asked the receptionist what the procedure was on the way out one day. She said "Oh, you have to ask for that." I thought I had asked for help. It really seemed like no one was listening to me at all.

The copyright of the article Manic Depression in Female Depression is owned by Dena Lambert. Permission to republish Manic Depression in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.