Duper Man - The Adventure Continues
© John McManamy
Following is the conclusion of my two-part light-hearted look at depression:
Time was running out. Right wing radio host, Attila Friendly - in reality a fiendishly clever guise for Lox Lather, arch-criminal - was on the verge of being elected President of the United States. Thanks to a machine that allowed him to bend the nation to his will, his master plan was coming to fruition - first the gradual process of acquiring a devoted radio following, then parlaying his celebrity into political power.
Once President, no one on earth stood a chance. Election day was now one day away and the polls showed him running ahead of his opponent by a margin of fifteen to one.
Only Duper Man could save the nation from catastrophe, but the Man of Tungsten was being held captive in the penthouse of his nemesis, Lox Lather.
Actually, he could have walked right out the door.
But what if people laugh at me? he thought, lying on the couch. What if they make fun of my cape?
The fallen superhero shook his head from side to side. I'm not good for anything, anymore, he could only think. I never was. I was overrated. Any little old lady from the planet Crapton could have done what I've done.
He wasn't finished: And where would I be if Crapton hadn't exploded? How would I fit in on a planet of true Duper Men and Women? Probably in middle management, he decided. Probably in a loveless marriage.
He sunk lower into the couch, pulling up the quilt to his chin. Ah, the sweet warmth of the womb, he allowed himself to think as the blessed relief of sleep washed over him like a balm, giving himself temporary respite from his personal hell.
...
It was Attila Friendly/Lox Lather's last stop on the campaign trail. "And when elected President," he told a wildly ecstatic crowd, waving a sausage-link pinky in the air, "I'll do away with the Supreme Court. I'll do away with both houses of Congress. Everyone in the military will take a personal loyalty oath to me"
He was only just getting started: "Canada will become the 51st state, Cuba the 52nd. Then we'll drop a bomb on the Arabs ... "
...
"Duper Man! You've gotta do something!"
The fallen superhero awoke with a start. "Polly," he muttered. "What are you doing here?"
"Nevermind that," the crack reporter for the Daily Earth snapped back. "There's no time to lose!"
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