Meditating Against Depression

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Dec 14, 1999

"My mind is like a Circuit City showroom, with TVs and VCRs and home sound systems blaring all at once ... "

You know those cartoons where the character goes flying around the room like a balloon with the air rushing out? That's sort of what happened to my mind 12 years ago. Like an idiot I refused to seek help and nearly paid in full measure for my stupidity.

Eventually, my entire psychic being deflated on its own account and I was able to regain some control of my brain. A good deal of the credit must go to yoga and meditation, though I would never be able to prove it in court. I managed to establish a successful daily practice for three or four years before backsliding to my bad old ways. I won't say that my failure to stick to my routine brought on my latest round of depressions. But I will tell you this: As soon as I am fully on my feet again, I intend to devote a part of my day to sitting.

Meditation is a highly personal affair, and it will probably take a process of trial and error to find what works for you. My mind, for one, is like a Circuit City showroom, with TVs and VCRs and home sound systems blaring all at once from all sides, and K-mart blue light specials and beepers and police radios going off against a truckload of gongs clattering down marble steps. Filtering out even the top layer of al this racket would have been an exercise in extreme futility, so I hit upon a preliminary yoga warm-up routine, much like an athlete limbering up before attempting some really heavy lifting. Make no mistake - any exercise devoted to bringing the mind under control constitutes heavy lifting of the most extreme kind.

But first a little incense to set the mood, sandalwood and patchouli being my favorites. Please bear in mind that what has worked for me may not work for you.

I start off from a sitting position with some leg stretches, touching the toes - or the kneecaps, whatever - extending to whatever position is comfortable to hold for a minute or more, one leg, then the other, and back again. On the second go, my arms grow a lot longer and the toes considerably closer, and one day I'll write a masters thesis on why this is so. By now my mind is slowing just a bit and my breathing establishes a new pattern, as if I am inhaling from the seat of my pants right up through my spinal column and out the top of my head.

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