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Eileen's Story - Page 2

© John McManamy

Finally, during a severe flashback, my husband panicked and called the local crisis unit. Through them I found my saving grace - a fantastic doctor and a great therapist. This happened in January, five years ago. After all these years, I was finally diagnosed with clinical depression and post traumatic stress disorder.

I was prescribed both Zoloft and Pamelor for my depression. Zoloft is in the same family of drugs as Prozac, and Pamelor belongs to an older class of antidepressants known as tricyclics. I don't suffer any side effects from the Zoloft, but I do perspire easily from the Pamelor. In addition, I take the controlled drug, Clonazepam, to sleep at night. I also take Perphenazine to control the flashbacks. Neither of those seem to bother me with side effects. I've been taking these drugs without fail for five years.

I have also engaged in psychotherapy. Through thought-provoking questions and conversations, I have recovered many of the memories I had lost due to post traumatic stress. Keeping a journal was another saving grace, where I could write what I was thinking without any repercussions.

Becoming "normal" was interesting, to say the least. I still remember the first time I was happy over a 24-hour period. There were tears, but tears of joy.

I do slip into an occasional depression now and then, but it doesn't take over my life. One of those things I have going for me is T'ai Chi. It really works for me. When I start feeling down, I just practice my T'ai Chi, and the blues go away. If I can't do my exercises, I indulge in aroma therapy. Sounds simple, but it does work.

I'm also able to bury myself in my crafts, the farm work and my dog, Sydney. All of these cheer me up conciderably.

I also have a "Safe Room", where I can go to feel in control. This, I have found, is very important. I am lucky enough to have an extra room in my house. If someone doesn't, the bathroom or even a walk-in closet will do. Just a place where you can go, be alone, and regroup.

Exercise also does wonders. I started out walking every evening. On rainy days I really noticed the difference, without the walk. Now, I have also added a 60-minute full body workout to my exercise regime. I feel even happier now. I also have to acknowledge my husband. Without his patience and understanding, I really don't think I would still be among the living. He is my Godsend and soulmate.

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