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Managing Against Tomorrow - Suicide Part II

© John McManamy

"...75 percent of all those who commit suicide indicate their deep despair beforehand."

Hey you! You with the teen-age girl who's driving you nuts. And you, over there! The one with the co-worker who's been acting a bit strange lately. You, too, with the husband who's just made out his will for no good reason. Yeh, and you with the ageing parent who's just come back from the doctor.

Have I got everyone? Wait, you over there, the guy who keeps telling his wife to snap out of it.

You, all of you - listen up good.

Depression kills. Sure, you may never have suffered from major depressive illness yourself, but chances are it will strike at someone close to you. Should that happen, the odds are heavily in favor of your friend or loved one making it through, but how you respond can greatly increase or decrease those chances.

Following is some common sense advice:

BE AWARE

According to studies, 75 percent of all those who commit suicide indicate their deep despair beforehand. All but maybe ten percent are sane people who might have responded to help.

• Take very seriously any possible signs of major depressive illness. These may include fatigue, weight gain or loss, and feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness. A child or teen-ager may feel more hyper or agitated than usual. (For a more complete list of symptoms, see the March 23 article in this series.)

• Keep in mind that any number of situational events can bring on thoughts of suicide, with or without major depression, events such as: marriage breakup, death in the family, difficult birthdays or anniversaries or holidays, or loss of employment.

• Watch out for sudden changes in behavior. These may include:

  • In your child, declining performance in school.

  • In others: declining interest in previously enjoyed activities, neglect of personal welfare, deteriorating physical appearance.

  • In the elderly, self-starvation, dietary mismanagement, disobeying medical instructions.

• Take very seriously any signs of suicidal behavior. These may include: explicit statements about suicide, acting-out behavior such as rehearsals or mini-attempts, self-inflicted injuries, reckless behavior, making out a will, giving away possessions, inappropriately saying goodbye, and odd verbal behavior (such as "you won't have to worry about me, anymore").

THINGS TO SAY AND NOT SAY

Five things to say to a severely depressed or possibly suicidal person:

1. "I hear you."

2. "I understand."

3. "I love you."

4. "You're not alone."

5. "Would you like me to get help?"

Five things not to say to a severely depressed or possibly suicidal person:

1. "You'll snap out of it."