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Brain Crash - Going Over the Wreckage

© John McManamy

"...you know you're depressed, alright, but how do you know that you know?"

YOU know you're depressed. Your brain has just crashed. Perhaps it was a two-lobe pile-up that left you in a state of shell-shock, barely able to respond to your surroundings. Perhaps it simply refused to start, like a car with a dead battery, so you gave up on the day, hoping you would be able to turn the engine over sometime in the future, whenever you were able to get yourself out of bed, assuming you could see that far ahead.

But perhaps you're already in motion. You can still think, you can move, you can reach for the knives in the kitchen drawer...

Oh yes, you know you're depressed, alright, but how do you know that you know? Maybe it's all in your head, after all, and the last thing you want is people laughing at you - least of all some condescending doctor or therapist, let alone the receptionist out front - and those knives in the kitchen are beginning to look more and more inviting.

Depression is a horribly misunderstood condition. Despite the terrible suffering it can cause, many millions fail to seek help, mistakenly viewing their affliction as personal weakness, and falsely believing they can mold their brains back into working order by sheer force of will. Many doctors still refuse to take this disorder seriously, and government funding is but a miniscule fraction of the big budget diseases that grab most of the headlines.

Nevertheless, there are people who get paid good money to know by heart exactly what you are going through, and just in case they forget, they are issued official guidelines. These are referred to as the DSM-IV, otherwise known as the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (Fourth Edition). By all means, print these out and attach them to your refrigerator. If you don't have a refrigerator, buy one. So, with minor editing, here is what to look for in a major depression:

Five (or more) of the following symptoms over the past two weeks, one of the first two mandatory:

1. Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, observed in yourself or by others. Children and adolescents may display an irritable mood.

2. Markedly diminished interest or pleasure, nearly all the time, observed in yourself or by others.

3. Significant weight loss or gain, or decrease or increase in appetite.

4. Insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day.

5. Psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day (observable by others, not merely subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down).

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