I also witnessed many nurses and doctors that were suffering from burn out as a result of caring for the terminally ill and their families. Another important fact for lay people to think about is that medical professionals can have very different feelings about death and dying, due to the numbers and types of experiences to which they have been exposed.
How many lay persons have seen a dying patient pushed to the side to starve to death because no further medical treatment is to be given? Who has experienced a dying patient beg them for a gun to end their own life because their pain medication is no longer giving them any relief? How many have watched a human beings' appearance change to that of a living skeleton?
While many lay persons caring for a relative dying of cancer or some other terminal illness may have been profoundly effected by a relative's death, that person does not routinely have another person to care for immediately. And usually is not experiencing the death of several patients in their care at the same time.
With experiences like those mentioned above, being common occurrences, I had thought about Dr. Kevorkian's interview many times. I never mentioned what I thought about the topic of assisted suicide to anyone. I was sure I would be perceived as insane and therefore incompetent. My thoughts consisted of wishing I had a magic wand I could wave to instantly end the suffering of my dying patients. But I had a great memory and I made pictures of my experiences and they turned into my nightmares.
I didn't know if Dr. Kevorkian's motives were as noble and pure as wanting to alleviate suffering. I did feel I had found someone who could relate to my feelings. In the years between then and now, I have turned into a terrible skeptic. I wanted to discover who this man really is. I questioned how a person could develop into a character that decided to push the button on his life mission by committing a murder on videotape. Is he a martyr or an assassin? What was his real life's mission?
I found a multitude of information online about Dr. Kevorkian. It was very interesting to me and I decided that I wanted to share my findings. I am writing several articles and I will provide a few of the best links for continued reading. I will also give comments on how this information impacted my feelings as a nurse and the questions that it brought to my mind.
