Humor: The ABC's of Snooker


You'd think that snooker humor would be rather corny at best, if not totally non-existent; not true. There are many sites related to cue sport humor and entertainment. They range from side-splitting tales of real-life anecdotes that occured during a tournament or at the local pub.

You can find these sites at SnooHoo. One such site that was quite funny was The Jimmy White Snooker Site (official???). There's a really funny article entitled, The A to Z of Snooker, the Universe and Jimmy White.

Here you'll find the typical cockney Brit humor that makes Brit comedies so funny. Written in a satirical style, each letter of the alphabet denotes a term used in the snooker world and a really funny description of the term to boot.

For example:

F is for FREEBALL.

This is one of the lesser known rules of snooker that states that if a player fouls and leaves his opponent so that he cannot hit an object ball full-on (i.e. it is not all showing) then his opponent can pot any ball - except the white (or Willie Thorne's head) - as if it were a red (the 'free ball'), and then continue the break as normal. This rule can cause problems as, because it creates an extra red, it means that the 'theoretical' maximum break in snooker is 155, although no-one has been proven to have achieved this. As a result, the following dialogue and actions are often seen and heard:

PERSON A: So...what's the highest break you can make in snooker, then?
PERSON B: 2.
PERSON A: No the maximum break, not your personal best!
PERSOB B: Oh...that'll be 147.
PRETENTIOUS GIT: Aha, but that is where you are wrong, ignorant buffoons. If a free ball is awarded before any reds are potted then the maximum possible break is 155.

Persons A&B now shoot Pretentious Git seventeen times in the head because everyone hates a smart-ass and, besides, this breed of persons is second only in annoyance to people who beat Jimmy White in World championship finals.

[By the way, is free ball one word, anyone?]

Hehehe...

There are many other similar wisecracks that you'll enjoy. Make sure to hit the SnooHoo link above for many other fun and entertainment section links that you can visit for a good cue sport laugh.

The copyright of the article Humor: The ABC's of Snooker in Pool/Snooker/Billiards is owned by Neena V. Talpade. Permission to republish Humor: The ABC's of Snooker in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

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