Kids, Clothes, & Image
© Rachel Paxton
Several weeks earlier and after a lot of searching we had finally found the coat and shoes she had been wanting at our favorite consignment store for a total of about $12 (she was thrilled at the time). The coat looks like it's never been worn and probably cost about $50 brand new. But that's not good enough, she says. When her friends ask her where she got a certain shirt, pair of shoes, etc., it goes completely against her moral upbringing to lie (even though I told her to). She feels compelled to tell them she bought her clothes at the consignment store or thrift store. I said, "If your shirt says GAP on it, wouldn't you think your friends would assume you got it at the GAP?" She didn't think that was very funny. I had a hard time believing that these 10-year-olds were really spending that much time analyzing each other's clothing and social status. Then, if that weren't enough, she announced that the fact that we live in a "trailer park," as she calls it, is totally demoralizing to her. People "with money" don't live in trailer parks. That was the last straw.
This child is normally a very loving, considerate daughter. She prides in finding a "good deal" when shopping and is very good at trying to find ways to save money. I knew that something had just gotten into her that day and I had had enough. My feelings were hurt, because my husband and I have worked very hard to buy our own home and be able to afford some of the things we really want. That includes trying to find our daughter some of the things she wants, at affordable prices. She has never really had to do without, even when I was a young, broke, single mother. Her words cut right through me. I knew that I should have just ignored her and not let her get to me, but my first thoughts to myself were "we can't help it if we're broke." I told her how hurt I was, and she went to her room and I went to mine.
