Setting Out Your Boundaries

• If someone is being continually tactless and saying things that make you feel like crying or sad, then be straight with them say something like "You hurt my feelings when you speak to me like that." It's entirely possible that the person hurting you may not have even realised it.

• If it's a family member who is treating you that way, you may need to type up a list of boundaries and stick them on the refrigerator or cupboard door. Having boundaries set out in black and white makes them seem more real.

Recognising that someone has crossed the invisible dividing line between you and them is half the battle. You will know when the boundary is crossed as you will feel anger, hurt and outrage, you are in essence hurting only yourself. By having personal boundaries in place which may be spoken (as in saying No!) or unspoken (as in walking away), you will be protecting yourself and maintaining self respect and dignity.

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