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I am a fibro patient in love.

© Barb Briley

I left this title generic so I can explain something. Along with all the other problems of being a Fibromyalgia patient we have the added stress of being a spouse. It makes things very difficult on us when we face our loved one while trapped by some of what seem to be insurmountable problems.

Rick, my spouse was fortunate. He was faced with this problem from the beginning and fell in love with me when it first hit. He watched my first marriage fail and when it was truly over he helped me gather up the pieces of my life and move on.

Wonderful man Rick, however he is very human. He gets mad sometimes, yells and can be a little self-centered. I ask who can’t get that way? I do for sure. Sometimes with my multiple problems I wonder if even with his little failings if he isn’t just plain SICK and FED up with me.

Geeze, there is always something! A food, a headache, asthma attacks, colds, sinus, depression, and of course the medications for all of it. Doctor’s appointments that can drive you insane from frequency and unexplained symptoms that many want to tell you that you are nuts for believing you have.

Here stands your spouse steadfastly watching you and your health jump all over creation. They may love you with all their hearts and dedication that they have in them. Yet, it is those nights that the symptoms gang up on you that you can hurt them the most.

Your in pain and have been for weeks your weak, tired, and irritable you find yourself suddenly thrust into a bout of depression that makes you nearly suicidal you don’t like you so why would anyone else love you? Your spouse doesn’t NO way would such a wonderful person love such a crummy piece of medical work whose body doesn’t even function normally?

Oh no that comment they made... that one about your hair being okay? That dinner was fine... did they mean something else? What if they don’t understand that the medicine and pain just plain make you UNINTERESTED in cuddling? Oh no. You are sure of it! An anxiety attack sets in.

YES, anxiety attack, you know your spouse just couldn’t love you anymore. Why do so many people think that anxiety attacks can only happen in public and under unusual stress conditions? Isn’t stress in relationships enough?

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