Please do not let this obfuscate the issue at hand — namely, that the Web is littered with Butt Ugly, Slow Loading Websites.The kind of websites that take days — sometimes, literally! — to fully load. Then, when that last byte finally trickles into your browser and renders on your screen, you're nowhere to be found, mainly because you've decided to do something more worthwhile with your life, like grate cheese.
Anthoriro aside, the sheer garishness of such websites often goes hand in hand with the second of this month's Web Gaffs: Lack Of Credibility.
Merriam-Webster defines credibility as "the quality or power of inspiring belief." On the Web it could be defined as, "a website that does not make you feel like you need to bathe in a high-pressure bleach rinse before, during and after viewing."
Speaking of scummy webthings, let's talk about "chat rooms" and "message boards."
Chat rooms and message boards are interactive discussion areas where thousands of people can share thoughts on specific topics such as the number of tattoos and piercings they have. Because of their intimate and anonymous nature, these kinds of interactive discussion venues are very popular. And by popular I mean, "a huge waste of time for thousands of people worldwide." I mean, let's be honest: Chat rooms are not populated by the erudite, discussing Bragg's Law, Periodic Law or even "Snake Eater III: His Law" starring Lorenzo Lamas as the aforementioned "Snake Eater."
No, these discussion groups are mostly populated by single middle-age men named Gary masquerading as single teenage girls named Gwen. Worst of all, these poor deluded males often have their high powered monitors set to factory standard 800x600 resolution instead of 1024x768 or higher. It's enough to make you cry.
Where am I going with this? Am I saying, avoid chat rooms and message boards at all cost? Yes. Yes, I am. I think everyone — especially you — should avoid chat and message boards at all cost. These soul-devouring electronic oubliettes are full of perverts, goofs and loudmouth jerks who employ circuitous logic and the rhetoric of foul mouthed fourth graders to spew forth insane and bigoted theories IN ALL CAPS across thousands of computer screens, worldwide. But I kid the chatters.
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