The Calm in the Eye of the Storm
to you, keep in mind that her "justifiable concern" is infinitely more comprehensible to her than your "cold indifference and emotional withdrawal"- silent contemplation, as far as you're concerned. Talk it through and comfort each other by remaining understanding even if you cannot truly relate to each other's feelings. The mere fact that these emotions are being experienced at all renders them valid. Do not create distance and feelings of alienation or rejection by keeping to yourself when times are trying.
Keep the lines of communication open:
How often do we deal with stress by keeping our thoughts to ourselves? We are frequently reluctant to share our deepest fears and emotions even with those we love most, because we are unwilling or ashamed to admit to the presence of what we consider to be "weaknesses" in our characters. We often bottle things up because we want to remain "strong" and "capable" in the face of challenge. Somehow, society has conditioned us to believe that any sense of insecurity, even if it is valid, alludes to personal inadequacy. Before excluding your partner from your true feelings because you want to be a fortress of strength or a powerhouse of stability, remember that true strength comes in numbers, and is made evident by the ability to be honest and forthright with the people you love. No man is an island.
Look to each other for positive support in times of need:
This is definitely something I have to work on. Dwell on the positive aspects of your relationship and strive to be hopeful in terms of the future. Talk of the days to come as though they are an established certainty, even when a diagnosis is grim. Never underestimate the power of physical intimacy. Hold each other, hug each other, pray together, and reassure each other with kind words of comfort.
My daughter's condition has now stabilized and she is doing extremely well. I am pleased to report that my relationship has progressed in much the same way. Of course, we still have issues to contend with, as every couple surely does, but I truly feel that we have become a stronger unit on account of this difficult experience. Tough times stand as the true measures of a relationship's stability. It is easy to be in love when everything is going well, but it is difficult to remain close when life throws you a few unexpected punches. Whether or
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