As has been stated, we are not broken - we do not need fixing. It is our relationship with ourselves which needs to be healed; it was our sense of self that was shattered and fractured and broken into pieces - not our True Self."
I am going to end this series by talking about the foundation upon which it is possible to have a chance of having a healthy romantic relationship.
Healthy relationship starts at home, in our relationship with ourselves. Unless we are in recovery, doing our emotional healing, there is no chance of having a really healthy relationship.
(Which doesn't mean that there is anything bad or shameful about being in a relationship that doesn't meet the criteria I have talked about in this series. Each of us needs to decide what works for us on our path. No one has a right to tell someone else what their path is - or to judge someone else's path. You may be in a relationship that works for you on some level - financial security for instance - and you are the only one that can decide if the payoff you are getting is worth the price you are paying. It is your choice and you will be the one who lives with the consequences - so do whatever you need to do to be at peace with yourself. Living our life according to anyone else's values but our own is dysfunctional.)
If you are striving to be healthy in relationship, it needs to start with learning how to Love self. If we are not respecting, honoring, and Loving our self - then it doesn't matter how much someone else Loves or respects us - it won't work to make us happy and at peace.
Until we start learning how to be emotionally honest with ourselves, we do not have the capacity to be Truly honest with another. If we are reacting to old wounds and old tapes without learning how to process through those issues - then we will end up feeling like a victim. If we cannot see ourselves clearly then we will not be able to see the other person clearly.
