Home » Mind & Soul » Codependency » Healthy Relationships - Part 7 - Valentine’s Day 2000

Healthy Relationships - Part 7 - Valentine’s Day 2000

© Robert Burney

"I needed to learn how to set boundaries within, both emotionally and mentally by integrating Spiritual Truth into my process. Because "I feel feel like a failure" does not mean that is the Truth. The Spiritual Truth is that "failure" is an opportunity for growth. I can set a boundary with my emotions by not buying into the illusion that what I am feeling is who I am. I can set a boundary intellectually by telling that part of my mind that is judging and shaming me to shut up, because that is my disease lying to me. I can feel and release the emotional pain energy at the same time I am telling myself the Truth by not buying into the shame and judgment." Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney

Valentines Day. The high holy Codependency feast Day. That is, a day when, for most of us, the disease celebrates by treating us to a feast of self recrimination and self flagellation.

For a small minority of us, a true holiday of love. A time to celebrate the love we are feeling for a significant other in our life. A time to be grateful for the gift of romance, and to honor the partner who is enriching our life.

For a significant number of us - who are alone in a relationship - a time to pretend, or blame. To focus on what is good about the relationship we are in, in an attempt to convince ourselves that the payoff we are receiving is worth the price we are paying. A time to put on a happy face to cover up for a sad heart. A reminder that our hopes, and the dream of what the relationship would become, are sadly underfulfilled and that we have settled for less than we deserve. Often the internal conflict is deflected outward in blaming the other.

For another significant portion of us - who are alone - a painful reminder, usually accompanied by self judgment and shame, bitterness and cynicism. Unless our level of denial is great enough for us to truly convince ourselves that it is just another day and does not bring up any feelings - a day of sadness.

If you are one of the lucky few, enJoy it to the fullest. Glory in the magic of love. Let your Spirit soar on the wings of love. Let yourself feel the Love and Joy in the moment as if you have never been hurt, and as if this love will never go away. Grab the moment with gusto and let yourself cherish the fairy-tale-come-true feelings.