To Hug or Not to Hug?

The terms "good touch" and "bad touch" are bantered around right and left. But the terms need to be more clearly defined. Ever since the sexual abuse hysteria started, child psychologists have received numerous calls from adults wanting to know if they were latent pedophiles.

The best way to answer the question is to break it down into finer questions and see things are done in other species and other cultures.

Is it okay to carry children?

In most monogamous mammal species, and in most dog and cat species, juveniles are carried by both male and female adults. Are perambulators hurting children in our society? Probably.

Is it okay to cuddle children?

Biologists tell us that adult primates, rodents, dogs, bears, and cats treat juveniles with affection.

This may seem like a stupid question, but why do we hug to show affection? Probably to protect ourselves and each other from enemies and predators! This answer would explain why children hug adults when they are frightened.

Is it okay to kiss children?

Kissing is a practice which courting couples copied from adult/juvenile dyads, not vice-versa. In prehistoric times, before the electric blender was invented, a parent would chew food, pucker the lips, and transfer the food to the infant's mouth through the infant's puckered lips. Through generations of gene transmission, the puckered lips came to be a sign of affection.

Is it okay to sleep with children?

In most mammal species, notably the siamang and the spectacled langur, adults sleep with juveniles. In most non-Western societies, parents sleep with their children. This is probably the reason that Maya children in Guatemala don't need dolls and security blankets. A study by Lewis & Janda in 1988 found that most adults who had slept with their parents are now happy and healthy adults.

Why does the notion of sleeping with children seem so repugnant to us? Probably because "sleep with" often means "have sex with" in our language. But you must be on guard against multiple meanings of the same term. Otherwise, you could come up with absurdities like this one:

Only some dogs have floppy ears.

My dog has floppy ears.

Therefore, my dog is some dog!

Is it okay to have sex with children?

This is where I draw the line. In 1990, Anderson & Bielert wrote that adults of other species seldom mate with juveniles. In a review of the literature, Feierman could not find a single nonhuman primate adult who sexually preferred juveniles.