Positive Crowd Control

Upon hearing these words, I slowly emerged from my siesta--I mean "planning period"--and staggered downstairs. There I was greeted by a secretary who asked, "Could you do us a favor? There is another substitute in the music classroom who is taking the place of two teachers who are out sick, so she needs help in crowd control." The "music" part I could take care of easily enough, but "crowd control"?

I reported where I was told to, and sure enough, there was one teacher battling forty students. But I doubt if I was much help. I watched for chattering students and gave them quiet reprimands, but they resumed chattering the minute my back was turned.

But what else could I do? Make a list of offending students and ask the regular teacher to render vengeance for us? That's impossible, because this was my first visit to the school and I didn't know any of the students from Adam.

How about making all the offending students sign their names? That would get the names of the more honest students, but could you imagine what other names would appear on that list? Snoopy, Bugs Bunny, Donald Duck . . .

Should I round up a sample of offenders and take them to the office? A lot of good that would do: the kids knew that I could only take 10% of the offenders, which would leave a 90% chance of not getting caught. Besides, we all know what administrators think about teachers who have a habit of trash-dumping.

Maybe all these ideas are too negative! How about complimenting all of the students who are behaving? Like I say, I didn't know any of the kids from Adam. I would sound absurd saying, "I like the way the girl in the blue sweater is listening. I like the way the boy in the grey jacket is listening."

Besides, any large group, even a mob like this one, contains too many well-behaving children to take the time to compliment. By the time I finish emceeing this fashion show, the girl in the blue sweater could grow tired of listening and join the ranks of the fidgeters.

With these thoughts running through my mind, I despaired of finding a better solution, so I continued applying patchwork while the other subsitute teacher did the same. Finally, the long-awaited bell rang, the pressure was off, and I thought of a better solution the minute I was outside the door . . .

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