Learn the Value of Just Being

On October 21 I had the privilege of attending the 2nd Annual Lupus Conference in Brighton, Michigan. The Brighton Lakes Lions Club put it on in conjunction with the Lupus Foundation and although the 1st Conference brought over 300 people, this years event seemed to have only around 100. However, people wandered in and out throughout the all day free concert so there could have been more than there seemed. Regardless of the number of people, the Lupus Foundation succeeded in raising awareness about this chronic illness and provided a wonderful morning keynote speaker in the form of Sean Hogan-Downey, ACSW.

It is Sean's words on Being that I bring to the Chronic Pain topic. So often as individuals with chronic pain we are focused on what we cannot do, or what we want to be doing, or what we plan to do that we just forget to be and enjoy the moment. Sean came up with a series of six "Be Attitudes" which I think relate not only to those who suffer with the chronic pain of lupus, but other conditions as well. They are:

• Be aware.
• Be present.
• Be gentle.
• Be courageous.
• Be inspired.
• Be happy.

The first thing you have to remember is that you are Being, which doesn't necessarily involve action. Just Be. The following are my interpretations of what it means to be aware, present, gentle, courageous, inspired and happy.

Be aware. Note your present moment. Who are you with? What smells surround you? What colours do you see? What do you feel emotionally? What do you feel physically. Be aware of your place in the moment, not just your pain in the moment.. Feel that burning between your shoulders. Be aware of now, live each moment as it occurs. Part of being aware means being aware of your pain.

Be present. You can only have memories if you are in the present experiencing them. If you drone off into thoughts of what that pain in your shoulders means and you turn it into a future doctor's visit before you just let yourself feel it and pass, you've avoided being in the present. Note everything you are aware of. If you choose to act, do it consciously. Part of being in the present is not worrying about the past or the future.

Be gentle. Knowing that you are aware of your pain, be gentle with yourself. Cater to the needs of the present. Take a bath if it makes you feel better. Ask your significant other for a gentle massage. Light a candle and inhale a calming scent. Do what you need to do to nurture yourself. However, be gentle with others too. Don't snap at them because you don't feel good and they are in your present. Part of being gentle is being kind and nurturing to yourself and to the caregivers around you.

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