Thanksgiving and CFS: What are you thankful for?

Seeking a better way of life, the members of the English Separatist Church left England on a pilgrimage to America in 1620. During their first winter in America, 46 of the original 102 who sailed on the Mayflower did not survive. With the help of the native Indians the rest of the Pilgrims survived the year. The pilgrims celebrated with a 3 day feast with the Indians, which is now called Thanksgiving. Over the years Thanksgiving has become a holiday that encourages us to step back and give thanks for all the blessings. For those of us who have been stricken with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, it can be hard during this time of year to give thanks. How can we find good out of an illness that is so devastating to the entire family?

During a conversation with my wife the other day, we were talking about our experience with buying our first home and how CFS has changed our lives. At the time of house shopping, I carefully calculated our finances in order to determine the amount of mortgage payments we could afford over the next 30 years. I figured into our finances the worst possible situation, such as one of us losing our jobs. Only a few months after living in our new home, BAMM, I never saw it coming, my wife became ill with CFS, she lost her job and medical bills would be astronomical. We would be in financial debt, borrowing money from family and trying to figure out how we were going to survive financially. My wife becoming sick was a detour from our life's plans. At first we both resisted with our change of life, but now I can truly say it all has been a blessing.

During my wife's pre-CFS days, we would both be off to work early in the morning and return home late at night. Being so exhausted from work, we would often sit silent over dinner, followed by watching TV, off to bed, and starting all over next morning. CFS has forced us to stop and rearrange our daily routines. Since fatigue is one of my wife's worst symptoms, we must wean out of our day any non-essential activities and focus on the most important things. I have come to appreciate our time together, because I realize how much my wife must save up her energy for us to do activities together. I have a passion for my wife's well being. Trips to the doctors visits are not mundane, but yet other opportunity for us to be together and hope for her recovery. Our bond to each other has grown through my wife's illness. We laugh more together, we cry together, we communicate our feelings and we appreciate each other more.

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