CFS/FMS and the Family

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and Fibromyalgia (FMS) are devastating and debilitating illnesses. Persons with CFS/FMS undergo physical and emotion changes in their lives. Although many people with CFS/FMS may improve overtime, many do not recover. This is why it is important for people with CFS/FMS to have support from family and friends. Though this is not an easy task because CFS/FMS also presents new changes in relationships.

CFS/FMS Stresses the Family The stresses of an illness can cause a pressure or imbalance in a family's relationship between parent-child and sibling-sibling. Stresses will be different from one family to another. It is important to identify what stresses most affect your family situation and what can be done to counterbalance these stresses.

An example of a family stress would be when a family member becomes ill, the family as a whole will no longer function as it once did before. The roles in the family will have to change. My wife use to love to cook before she became ill with CFS/FMS. She would spend each Saturday preparing meals for the entire week. When she became sick with CFS/FMS, she no long was able to cook and my role in the family would have to change.

Other stresses can be when a child is the one in the family to have CFS/FMS. When this happens the parents takes on a new responsibility of caregiver. Children living with CFS/FMS usually need more than normal amounts of parental involvement for such tasks as bathing and changing clothes. When the child is an adult and unable to work, often the family helps financial with medical bills and living expenses. This can leave the adult child with the feeling of guilt of burden. Siblings of children with CFS/FMS often feel neglected. They may feel that the family's attention is on the sick sibling and never on them.

CFS/FMS Causes Misunderstanding A lack of understanding of CFS/FMS can also cause stresses in family relationships. Persons living with CFS/FMS can feel rejected and indifference from extended family members who show a lack of support. CFS/FMS. Often family members don't agree with the diagnoses and may believe that the person is being lazy or faking their illness.

Don't expect that everyone will understand what you are going through. Most often comments about these illnesses are out of ignorance and are misguided rather than out of malice.

CFS/FMS Strengthens the Family While CFS/FMS causes changes in family relationships, it can be a positive one. Rallying together as a family when a member becomes sick with CFS/FMS can strengthen the family instead of pulling it apart. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia forces one to re-evaluate their priorities and focus on the important things in their lives. Sometimes parents with CFS/FMS can feel that the illness cheats their children. The truth is, living daily with CFS/FMS can teach our children through these illnesses hope, loyalty, perseverance, optimism and courage.

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