And Satan spake unto the music merchant saying, "If thou wilt give to me that acoustic guitar, I will make thee more wealthy than thine employer." And the merchant gave unto Satan the acoustic guitar. Satan made good his promise, and electronically transferredest vast sums to the merchant's bank account. The merchant was filled with joy and quit his job. The merchant, however, receivedeth fatal injuries in an automobile accident while enroute to the bank. Satan then re-routedest the money back to his own account.Satan looked upon his guitar and saw that its body was hollow. He said, "This is not good. An empty body alloweth room for spiritual growth." Satan filled in the body with wood, and thereupon placed multitudinous switches, dials and pick-ups. To the body, he added also an electric cable. Satan called his creation an electric guitar and caused it to be the source of all musical evil. Satan spoke: "This thing [electric guitar] shall also be called the root of rock music.
thus sayeth the book.
It'd be great for the rockaphobics if they really had such a writing known to be of divine inspiration. They don't. Some rockaphobes have taken Biblical Scripture out of context and distorted it to support their claims. Any group can make twists and mistranslations mean what they want.
Actually, we know that classical, country and western, swing and other non-rock genres are inherently less evil than rock music. Flutes, violins, oboes, kettle drums and French horns are not used by the archfiend. Banjos and steel guitars are even "good" instruments. No, wait! That all sounds nuts!
The evil of rock music comes from the pulsing beat or from syncopation. Anyone who's done any studying at all knows that slow 3/4 music (waltzes) never inspired lewd behaviors nor did dancing to such music ever lead to Medieval court intrigues. Polka music isn't evil, as we all know. None of us ever pictures beer and sausage served by a blonde-braided waitress in a push-up traditional dress when we hear accordian music. You've all probably heard the story about the missionary who returned to Africa and played some of his kids' cassettes to the natives. The natives, aghast, asked why he let his kids listen to the very demon-summoning rhythms they were trying to give up. This is a very well-known story, but the people are always anonymous. I truly believe it's just a convincing-sounding made-up story.
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