NOW WHAT?????

That was the question that went through my mind the day the pediatrician diagnosed our daughter with Autism."Fine," I said to myself, "Okay, where do we go from here?" I am sure many of my readers with a disabled child can relate to that.

Dealing with the diagnosis, even with prior knowledge that there is something wrong with your child, is like having a slap upside your head and shock into reality. Even though you suspect a problem, you allow your mind to race back and forth from optimism to skepticism as you keep trying to convince yourself it might be nothing, even though in your heart you know there is something definitely wrong.

Learning to cope and coming to terms with the fact your child has a disability is similar to dealing with a death, because the child you thought you were going to have never happened. It's like the normal child died and has been replaced with a damaged or broken one. I know that may be an odd way of looking at it, but for many parents it is an agonizing process of grief that must be endured to get to a better place of accepting and realizing the potential and ABILITIES your disabled child has.

There are several things to do that make it that much easier to cope with a child's disability:

- Talk with a supportive friend.

- Get a babysitter, and do something for yourself. If you don't feel comfortable leaving your child yet, get a sitter to play or watch your child in the childs room and you do something for yourself in another part of the house.

- Keep a journal about your experiences and feelings.

- Get out of your house and into a different environment. - Go somewhere quiet and have a good cry, or a good yell - Educate yourself on your child's special needs, community resources, available books, local support groups. - List positive things about your family and then read them frequently. - Read a poem or inspirational saying that comforts you. - Take a walk or a drive, exercise. - Do something to make someone else smile. It's contagious.

- Talk with another parent of a child with special needs.

- Believe that you will get through this day, week, etc.

The best way I found to deal with it all, as overwhelming as it was....

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