Fear of Growing Old Alone?
Jean, in her 60s: As for not missing having children, I see so many of my siblings and friends who have children now grown and STILL giving them grief that it makes me thankful we don't have to go through that. And even those attentive children who are "good kids" are sometimes a pain: thinking that because their parents are near 60 they are senile and incapable of taking care of themselves anymore. Because I didn't want to bother taking care of children, I certainly don't miss not having grandchildren to take care of. I would be one of those "grannys" who would say, "I raised you now its your turn to raise your kids" and refuse to keep them or be a free babysitter. Mostly, when I think about not having kids or grandkids, my feelings are just plain "relief." I don't think that having kids around cures "loneliness" as you get older. The people I know who have grown kids are in one time frame, and their kids in another, and there seems to be little meeting of the minds between the two. It's better to make and keep friends in your own age group than to try to fit in with a group of younger people.
Pead McWelshie, 48: Neither one of us wants to grow old alone. But growing older together is not a big concern at all. You can't choose your family, you can only choose your pets and friends. Besides, if the recent Department of Agriculture figures are reasonably accurate, I think we should come out way ahead even if we have to hire home health care workers for twenty years. And from what I've seen of kids these days, minimum wage employees are likely to be far more reliable and caring than any biological relations. Sorry, but the extended family concept went out of fashion in this country after WWII did it not? Institutionalization with occasional weekend visitation by an adult child hoping to reword my will is not my idea of the "quality of life" I intend for our really older years.
Magda: I have never been "alone," in the sense some people mean it, and will probably never be. I have always had people around me, my friends, my boyfriend, and plenty of time for them -- it does not have to change with age. And then I like being with myself,
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