Fear of Growing Old Alone?


© Cara Swann

A frequent reason given for having children is that the parents will "have someone to take care of them in old age." I could go into any number of arguments about why this is one of the silliest reasons to have children -- particularly as no one even knows IF they'll live to be elderly in the first place -- but suffice to say, it doesn't always turn out that adult children are caregivers to elderly parents. Particularly in this day and age when people must often relocate to wherever their careers take them and seldom even live near parents, much less arrange their entire lives based on how best to help aging parents.

But how do childfree people feel about this issue? I'm 49, and yes, I do occasionally think about getting elderly and how I'll cope. But my husband and I have been planning our lives around the fact that we will NOT have family assistance; therefore, we are carefully saving money and preparing to have financial resources to help us during our elderly years. This means having a good retirement plan; substantial savings/investments; long-term care insurance and more.

Will I be lonely in old age? Not a chance, because frankly, I've always been somewhat of a solitary individual, and cannot imagine that being alone is a bad fate. I agree with Diana's thoughts on this: "I'm 48. What I like - I am rather a loner at heart. I enjoy the company of other people - but only in small doses. Even phone calls are sometimes too much contact. I would go mad with another person around all the time. I am independent, and do a lot of things for myself. Those which I cannot or prefer not to do, I can pay to have someone else do -and by the same token, I don't want to be responsible for anyone else. I prefer people who also either do things themselves or pay someone to do whatever is needed - I don't like being depended on by any person."

I have a dear friend in his 60s who constantly complains about having to babysit his grandchildren, and he often says, "I raised my own children, and I think I was a good father, but I didn't sign on for all this babysitting!"

I asked a group of childfree people what they liked best about growing older without children/grandchildren, and their answers echo many of my own thoughts. Here's some of their remarks that might shoot down the myth of the unhappy or dissatisfied older childfree individual ...

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Here's the follow-up discussion on this article: View all related messages

2.   Mar 28, 2002 2:49 AM
Many childed people do end up growing old alone. The scenes of adoring adult children and grandchildren crowding around Grandma and Grandpa are only a Norman Rockwell fantasy. This only happens in h ...

-- posted by nosprogsAH


1.   Dec 29, 2001 5:24 PM
Okay I meant dropping.
I am single 44 hmm! People do actually think that they can drop the kids off! They clothe this in a garb of doing me a favour.
Tell the kids they can play in my office!
Kid ...

-- posted by brisbaneartist





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