Childfree Men's Opinions - Page 3

She knew how I felt and has gone through the occasional bout of desiring children but we're pretty much OK.

I am married -- my wife and I are totally childfree, never been a problem for either of us.

I'm one of the rare ones who did not discuss this with my wife pre-marriage. She never really expressed interest in having children, so we didn't talk about it. After a couple of years, she started mentioning she might want to be a mother. After informing her that I never wanted kids, we had a number of fights about it. I had a vasectomy and things were very difficult between us for a number of months (came close to divorce once). We finally worked it out, and since we both make a decent living (over 100k between us), have nice things, go on vacations and basically get along great otherwise, she finally came to the obvious conclusion. Why throw away an otherwise great marriage for a hypothetical person who doesn't currently exist, and one that you never know if you would even like?

3. If you're single, do you have trouble finding women to date who don't want children?

Yes, though at my age (mid 30s) the more common problem is finding women who don't already HAVE children.

Dating isn't my forte, and given my nerdy profession, it really wasn't easy to meet women -- let alone childfree ones. I was however, lucky to have met my wife -- a fellow nerd I might add -- and since she was relatively older (38), she presumably had overcome wanting a baby.

I suppose. It's unfortunately hard to meet any females in my geekish circles. Finding ones that are interesting and childfree and single is much harder.

It is impossible to find women my age (37) who are childfree and somewhat active.

Strangely enough, I never actually dated the same woman more than two or three times from age 18 to 24. Figured out after a couple of dates that most of them were too vapid and shallow to consider anything remotely permanent.

4. As a childfree man, what is your biggest complaint about childed men's attitudes toward your childfree status? About childed women's attitudes?

As for men, I really don't have any complaints. Few of the comments on the topic have come from men for one reason or another. The only one I can recall offhand was a cousin making a comment to my father about having to "wait too long for grandchildren." My father took him to task a bit. Said cousin's children were all older than I am when they had kids anyhow and only one of them (the youngest, who I knew in school as he was only two years older than me and who hadn't had a kid as of that point) waited until after they were married to have one. Now as to women, that's a totally different story. I've had many comments, usually by coworkers or family, who often assume that because there is nothing to indicate that I have children, they need to advise me on the matter. Some see me as some sort of evil being...an image I've learned to cultivate. :) One of my wife's aunts seems to feel that we're "getting away with something," if you will. She married an abusive drunk (seriously, although he has straightened up a bit since he had a heart attack) and had two kids. She never went to college (well, she went to "business school" but never even did anything with that) and has mostly been doing unskilled labor since then. We both work professional jobs and are able to enjoy a rather stress-free life due to no children. She doesn't seem to feel that this is right.

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