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Page 2
I decided when I was single in my mid-20s that I would never have kids. I knew they would intrude on my independent lifestyle and I would resent them for it.
2. If you're married, did you discuss this with your partner before marriage? If your wife wanted to be childfree, did this influence your decision? If a potential mate wanted children, would you have considered marrying and having children too? I'm not married. At one point in my life I would have assumed that having children was part of the marriage deal. Now I know it's not, and would end an engagement rather than have kids. I'm not married, and things don't look too good. I really don't want someone with baggage...emotional or DNA based. ...at that time, (13 years ago) there were some health concerns raised about women who stayed on the pill for extended periods. My wife had been on it for 17 years at that point. We talked about it, came to the conclusion that the best and safest method to remedy the situation was for me to get a vasectomy so she could stop taking the pill. Yes and no. I made the mistake of not discussing this sufficiently in a prior relationship. Thankfully, her mother decided to make a deal that "my right to grandchildren and my daughter's right to children overrides her fiance's right to not have children." It was at about that point I decided to call it quits. About six months later, I started dating the woman who is now my wife and this issue was discussed early. What I'm about to say should only be considered a reflection on the area where I live (NE corner of PA.) I'm not trying to make a generalization. When we were dating, I surprised my wife by saying that she impressed me because she actually had a brain and didn't want children. My (few) relationships before that were with women who mostly took the "go-to-college-to-get-a-husband with-a-high-paying-job" approach, to be painfully honest. I would not marry a woman who wanted children because I realized I'm not parent material and would do a service to nobody by having children. Yes, since this is one issue that cannot be compromised on -- at least the way I see it -- I made sure that my S.O. understood the implications before we tied the knot. To answer your other question, I wouldn't even consider a relationship with a childed person, or would cease to pursue a relationship with someone, if it became apparent that they wanted to have kids.
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