Families of Two -- Book Review


© Cara Swann

If you are married and childfree, you have probably been asked many times why you married if not intending to have children. If you've ever wished you had a ready answer, and could respond by citing examples of why childfree married couples are happy, then you should read Laura Carroll's excellent, well-researched book, "Families of Two: Interviews With Happily Married Couples Without Children By Choice." Not only does it present a wealth of thought-provoking material, the interviews with childfree married couples are extremely positive, uplifting and enlightening. Additionally, the unconventional, casual photographs of couples is a quality feature that enhances the overall content.

Laura Carroll is a writer, industry psychology consultant and seminar leader who is also happily married -- and childfree. When she decided to write this book, she invited five of her married childfree women friends over to her house, and asked them about marriage without children. In addition to the things Laura wanted to know, these friends helped inspire some of the thoughtful, insightful questions she asks to the fifteen childfree married couples profiled in her book. I found the list of questions fascinating, and was impressed by each couples' in-depth answers -- which I could identify with because I am also in a childfree marriage.

The following general questions are asked of the husband and wife:

How did you decide you did not want children?

It's widely held that women have children because they are fulfilling a natural biological urge. What do you think about this?

Is there anything about you or your background that you think might have influenced you not to want children?

Do you have any regrets about not having children?

Let's say a couple who is trying to decide whether they want children is asking your advice. What would you say to help them make their decision?

What impressions do you think others have of you, as a couple that has chosen not to have children?

Do you think you're selfish?

How did your love story begin?

Many couples get married when they're ready to start a family. This wasn't the case for you. Why did you get married?

What is your life together like?

Describe your circle of friends.

How do you handle various aspects of the day-to-day things in marriage, for example, domestics and money management?

What have been your biggest marital challenges?

What are the ingredients to making it work over the long term?

In your opinion, how does society view the institution of marriage today?

The responses of the couples are as individual and distinct, as varied and interesting as a general group of people might be. Laura found respondents by placing ads locally and in different cities, eventually traveling to California, New York and Connecticut. She did try to find different ethnic couples, but learned via Census data that the percentages of African-American and Hispanic women without children is quite low. However, there is one Mexican-American couple included.

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The copyright of the article Families of Two -- Book Review in Childfree By Choice is owned by . Permission to republish Families of Two -- Book Review in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

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