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Childfree — A Definition?

© Cara Swann

Perhaps it seems self-evident what the term childfree means. And it can be relatively simple: any individual who does not have children. But on closer examination, a variety of questions may arise.

For example, if a woman has had a child, but given it up for adoption, is she still childfree? What of those who have not given birth, or biologically fathered a child, but are step-moms/dads? If you are infertile, and still want a child, is that being childfree?

The term itself, childfree, is usually preferred by those who never want children and will never have any. You may have heard of the term childless, but this has connotations of "something missing", as if having a child completes the individual, whereas most childfree people feel that they live whole, fulfilled lives without a child. Child-less seems to be a somewhat negative term; childfree is positive. Therefore, childfree means being free of children, free of many of the obligations, responsibilities and other parental duties that having children includes. It usually means a happy state of being in which no lack is felt without children.

Those who might think of themselves as childless include women/men who are infertile and/or have prohibitive health/medical problems but want to adopt a child; women who've had miscarriages or abortions but would rather have had the child; and women who gave birth but, for one reason or another, gave up the child to closed adoption and wish they hadn't. And sometimes those who are undecided about the issue -such as young singles, or newly married couples, or couples waiting for the right time to start a family. These people may all be planning on having children and/or parenting at some time in their future.

Sometimes in early adulthood there may be ambivalence, and much soul-searching, about the issue before a firm decision is reached. During this stage the individual usually considers all aspects of parenting, does much research, and discusses it with other people, those who have children and those who don't. It can take years to reach a conclusion, in some cases. In others, it's possible one knows as early as the teen years that they do not desire children - but will probably still spend at least a few young adult years considering the finality of sterilization. It would seem during this stage of reflection one does not fit the term of childfree. That only comes when the path of living without one's own children is definitely chosen. However, many times it is difficult to find a doctor willing to perform sterilization for a young adult, and if the person has already made the decision, and it's only a matter of the surgical procedure being done, then they probably do consider themselves childfree.

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