If you are inconsiderate enough to voice these thoughts, and the person asserts there's no physical reason...simply their choice, then you will possibly become defensive because this is definitely not a conventional lifestyle choice. Perhaps you are unaware that having or not having children is a deliberate decision. You may jump to the conclusion that remaining childfree is selfish, or due to dislike of children. Or you may realize you are angry that this person isn't going to go through the process of parenting - which is not always positive and fulfilling. Whatever your reaction, you are unlikely to accept the person's statement without personal commentary.
Unfortunately, childfree people like myself have always had to defend our choice, whether we like it or not. Well-meaning people who wouldn't think of asking us why we choose our car, our house, our career...will often bluntly tell us we'll "change our minds" about having children. If we told parents, or prospective parents, they'd "change their minds" about having children they would be aghast. And what if they do change their minds? Certainly, you can't stop being a parent - it's a lifetime commitment. Yet surprisingly many people have children without even thinking why they do, whereas childfree people have given great thought to why they don't want to be a parent.
The reasons we choose to remain childfree are as individual, as personal and sometimes private, as the reasons we make other lifestyle choices. In future articles, I will be exploring some of the reasons that motivate us in our choice. And I would like to raise awareness about this issue, elaborating on why remaining childfree should be an acceptable alternative to parenting. So often it is simply assumed that all people, particularly women, want to have children. However, what if one finds they do not have this desire for whatever reason? Should our pro-natal society dictate we all must have children? Is it possible choosing not to have children is an unselfish choice? What about helping preserve the environment and reducing the rapid population growth? What of the time for volunteer activities or careers that benefit others?
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