"The typical family of a mentally ill person is often in chaos. Parents look frantically for answers that usually can't be found. Hope turns to despair, and some families are destroyed no matter how hard they try to survive." -- Parents of an adolescent with schizophrenia
When parents learn their child has schizophrenia, they experience a range of strong emotions. They are usually shocked, sad, angry, confused, and dismayed. Some have described their reactions as follows:
Sorrow ("We feel like we've lost our child".) Anxiety ("We're afraid to leave him alone or hurt his feelings.") Fear ("Will the ill person harm himself or others?") Shame and guilt ("Are we to blame? What will people think?") Feelings of isolation ("No one can understand.") Bitterness ("Why did this happen to us?") Ambivalence toward the afflicted person ("We love him very much, but when his illness causes him to be cruel, we also wish he'd go away.") Anger and jealousy ("Siblings resent the attention given to the ill family member.") Depression ("We can't talk without crying.") Total denial of the illness ("This can't happen in our family.") Denial of the severity of the illness ("This is only a phase that will pass".) Blaming each other ("If you had been a better parent...") Inability to think or talk about anything but the illness ("All our lives were bent around the problem.") Marital discord ("My relationship with my husband became cold. I felt dead inside.") Divorce ("It tore our family apart.") Preoccupation with "moving away" ("Maybe if we lived somewhere else, things would be better.") Sleeplessness ("I aged double time in the last seven years.") Weight loss ("We've been through the mill, and it shows in our health.") Withdrawal from social activities ("We don't attend family get-togethers.") Excessive searching for possible explanations ("Was it something we did to him?") Increased use of alcohol or tranquilizers ("Our evening drink turned into three or four.") Concern for the future ("What's going to happen after we're gone? Who will take care of our child?")
"A Sister's Need" by Margaret Moorman New York Times, September 11, 1988
"My sister Sally is mentally ill. Now 47, she was first hospitalized almost 30 years ago, during her senior year in boarding school. Labelled schizophrenic then, she is now diagnosed as having bipolar -- or manic-depressive -- illness. Generally speaking, schizophrenia causes thought disorders and bipolar illness causes mood disorders. When Sally has been manic, she has given away possessions, become obsessed with elaborate projects, stopped eating and finally, suffered from delusions.
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