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Guilty Choices

© Julie Renaud

This time of year makes everyone a little reflective. The holidays and the looming New Year cause us to remember the past and ponder the future. So when it came time to think about an article topic for December, I decided to reminisce a little about the child care choices I've made for my daughter. Leaving your child in the care of others is a hard thing to do for anyone, under any circumstance.

Every parent has to decide if they are able to, financially and emotionally, stay at home with their child. For many people it just isn't a financial reality to quit a job. Others learn how to make do with less so they can be a full-time parent. Then there are those who can afford to stay home, but would be miserable if they did. Is it fair to the baby to have to spend the day with someone who is unbearably unhappy? Studies have shown that the emotional health of the parent is an important factor in the healthy development of a child. The woman who chooses to continue her career because it feeds her soul, will keep her self-esteem intact. Coupled with high quality child care, her child will still thrive.

When my daughter was born 17 years ago, I made my choices. I could continue to work part-time but had to give up school. There was no room to trim the family budget any further, unless we gave up food or electricity. But I was very fortunate. I had already worked in child care for a couple of years and was able to find a job at a center that allowed my baby to come with me, for free! With the part-time schedule and my child in a classroom just down the hall, it wasn't too bad. I knew who her caregivers were and even became friends with some of them.

During the next two years my life felt like a roller coaster, careening up and down. On the up side, I was promoted to assistant director of the center, still keeping my part-time schedule. On the down side, my husband and I separated. On the upside, just when I needed more income I was promoted to center director. On the down side, now I had to work full-time. But still, I had the advantage of having my daughter with me, and now I was the one hiring her caregivers. That relieved the guilt and stress somewhat.

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