No Easy Solution: Toddlers and Biting

If your child is doing the biting, discuss his home behavior with the child care staff. Does he bite at home? Who does he bite? When and how often? Under what circumstances? It may be helpful to keep a record to see if particular situations and times of the day trigger a biting incident. Once the triggers have been identified, the adults can work together to change the environment and avoid those situations while teaching the child new skills.

The reaction of the adults should be discussed. How do you, his parents, respond when biting happens? How is the child care staff responding? It is important that the family and the providers respond in a similar manner to help the child learn not to bite. Prevention is the best approach. Parents and providers can prevent biting by being aware of what causes stress in toddlers and helping them cope with the high stress times. Avoid creating situations that ask your toddler to use his budding social skills when he is tired or hungry. Don't expect him to be able to take turns and share easily at this age. This is the beginning of the learning process. He won't be good at it for quite sometime. If you see your toddler getting overly frustrated and stressed, step in and help him get what he needs using acceptable words and actions. Use it as a teaching moment rather than a punishing moment. Never encourage the victim to bite back or bite the child yourself! Never hit or spank a child for biting. You are trying to teach the child that violence is not an acceptable way to handle difficult situations. Do not contradict your words with your actions.

When children bite, the adults who care about them must respond quickly, and together, to help the child through this developmental stage. Biting is a perfectly normal behavior but it is also an alienating behavior. Your toddler needs help learning appropriate social behaviors. As a parent, your goal is to take your child from a helpless infant to a caring adult. You held your child's hand as he learned to walk. Now you are helping him master his first step in learning how to get along in the world.

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