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No Easy Solution: Toddlers and Biting

© Julie Renaud

You're in a meeting. The assistant pokes her head in the door to tell you that your child care center is on the phone. You go into instant worry mode - they only call when your child is sick or hurt. Nervously you take the phone and hear, "Your child has been bitten by another child." It's the phone call parents hate to get and child care providers hate to make. There is no easy way to have this conversation.

How your provider handles the situation is a good indicator of the quality of the child care program. No program can completely prevent biting among young children, but higher quality providers know how to handle the problem. They have been educated on biting: who is likely to bite, when and why it usually happens, how to prevent it and what to do if it does happen.

Why Do Children Bite?

A younger child may bite as a part of his natural exploration of the world around him. Everything he wants to know more about (clothing, toys, hands) goes into his mouth. As his teeth come in he may accidentally bite down while nursing or nip your shoulder when being held. At this point you just need to tell him "no" firmly. He may also be teething. Biting down on something solid relieves the pain. If this is the case, offer him something more appropriate to bite down on such as a teething ring or a cold, wet washcloth. But as children become toddlers (12 -24 months) the reasons for biting change. This is when you get "the phone call."

Toddlers are in a new and exciting world. Now they are in the "toddler room," and the environment is completely different than the "baby room." They have new activities and a different schedule. They can do more than ever and are eager to try it all. But this new world also offers constant challenges. Challenges they may not be ready to handle. They may respond with biting because they have not yet learned the words or the social skills they need.

Toddlers do not have enough language to express all of their needs. As they interact with the other children in the room, they don't yet know how to ask for what they want or say no to someone who wants what they have. These are new ways of using language. It is not enough to just encourage children to use words, parents and providers need to give them the right words. Teach them very specific phrases to use when they need them. "I want ____," "No, I have that now."

The copyright of the article No Easy Solution: Toddlers and Biting in Child Care Information is owned by Maureen Fleury. Permission to republish No Easy Solution: Toddlers and Biting in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.