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"Stream of Consciousness" from a Catholic Sickroom

© Kathryn Morse

or "I think I'll put my head back on my pillow now"

I have so many wonderful articles started . . . so many links to share. But for the past three weeks, I have been getting used to taking a great deal of medicine as treatment for Hepatitis C.

Everyday is an adventure in "feeling" something - nausea, thickening skin, fevers, etc. Its hard to concentrate, sometimes difficult to finish a sentence. Two of the medicines I am on effect the frontal lobe of the brain. The "main" medicine is daily injections of Intron - a recombinant interferon - which causes depression while fighting the virus. So I also have to take an anti-depressant - Zoloft - to counteract the potential for chemical depression. That's why I have two meds fighting in my frontal lobe. Fever is a side effect and I just lay down a lot feeling weak while the meds fight each other and the trillions of Hepatitus C viruses in my body.

You know if I say "Jesus" I feel better. Its like the woman who reached out through the crowd to touch the hem of his garment. Jesus said he felt power go from himself to her. Well, when I say his name, I feel power enter my body. I say his name at least three times, "Jesus . . . Jesus . . . Jesus." Its like taking another medicine, one with no unpleasant side effects. I pray for each part of my body to be in subjection to the will of the Father.

When I first started taking treatment my priest suggested that I say a lot of rosaries. I finally told him last week, that I can't concentrate to say a rosary. Sometimes I can barely finish a "Hail Mary." I just say "Hail Mary" and wave at the heavens to the Blessed Virgin sometimes. I figure that greeting the Blessed Virgin is better than not speaking at all. If I have more energy sometimes I might say "O Blessed Mother, the Memore, you know the words. O help me Blessed Mother."

Speaking of the rosary. My rosary beads have become a play thing of my four month kitten, Humphrey. I never let pets chew on the crucifix part, but they like to drag rosaries around to hear the beads make noise and that I allow. I probably shouldn't, but I have two tabby cats and I understand they are special to the Blessed Virgin. I can't imagine her fussing at a tabby playing with beads, so I don't either.