'Twas All Hallows Eve

Maddened with bad poetry and and smelly body parts too.

And then, in a wrinkling, I heard in the raw
The scraping and scratching of each hairy paw;
As drew back my hand with a snarling frown
Into the chimney Old Dracula slid down.

He was dressed all in black from his foot to his head,
And his cape swirled around showing glimpses of red,
His minions before him carried bags of naughty boys,
Demanding more candy and making dreadful noise.

His eyes -- how they stared! his face so pale!
His cheeks were like paper, his nose like a rail!
His droll little mouth was twisted upside down,
In danger of setting in a permanent frown.

I guess I embarrassed him when I pointed to his teeth,
Where a smear of blood circled like a spinach wreath;
He had a mean little face and hardly any belly
And as he smiled, I shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was a lean and mean, a right scary old vamp
Didn't mean to laugh when I saw him, but doubled up in a cramp;
Then a wink of his yellow eye and a glimpse of his head
Soon gave me to know I'd soon be among the living but dead.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And took all my blood, then turned me into a jerk,
Just like him, and taking his finger aside picked his nose,
And giving a nod for me to follow, up the chimney we rose;

He sprang to his coach, to his team gave a whistle,
And away we all flew like a guided missile.
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove into the night,
"HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD FRIGHT!"

Part the Third: This Sounds Familiar

I wish I could say I knew the author true,
But really, I must say I haven't a clue;
Some say some flake of a monster
Borrowed the rhyme from a right old Napster.

I say this verse is based on The Night Before Christmas,
Something most shameless, since those verses delight-mus;
Some attributed those great children's verses
Peviously to Clement Clarke Moore but trust us

Major Henry Livingston Jr (1748 to 1828)
Is To whom is now attributed that poem's fate;
Now if you will allow me

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