Ask Doctor Zen

the period offer some good advice on how the "little woman" should deal with the dominant sex. Try some of the old "Modern Romances." If you have trouble locating old copies of the comics, try Truer Than True Romances, a modern update on the romance comics.

Yours,
Dr. Zen

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Dear Zen,

I recently appeared on the "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" television program. I was all excited about the prospects of winning a million dollars and international fame and fortune.

Unfortunately, I missed the first question. It was just too hard. They actually asked me to name any two sexes of human beings. How was I to know that BDSM and Foot Fetish not actually the names of the sexes.

Of course, now I know that male and female were the correct answers, but I don't know if I will ever be able to show my face in public again since I am so humiliated.

P.S. - I also lost on Jeopardy.

Clueless in Seattle

Dear Clueless,

Don't ever again send your filth to me! After washing your mouth out with soap, you should crawl under your bed and never come out again!

Furthermore, don't even think about tying me up with #2 twisted fiber hemp rope to the goldplated iron rings that were mistakenly installed by rambunctious disciples in the base boards of my heart-shaped bed.

Believe you me, I WILL find out and suitably punish with my new cat-o-nine tails whoever of my enemies told you about this!

Also, I will sue you into eternity if you tell that I also lost on Jeopardy.

Exasperatedly yours,
Z

Well, that is all the advice the good Doctor sent me this time. If his column catches on, he has promised to send me some more of his enlightened wisdom and advice. Until that future time, Doctor Zen has asked me to pass along to you this deep thought which struck him one evening as he was eating his usual box of Milk Duds:

Don't you think you would like it if it were likable.

Peace.

Copyright 2002, Thomas James Martin, all rights reserved.

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