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The Disease to Please...


© Ami McKay

Jul 21, 2000


Do you worry about what others think of you?
Are your actions based on the expectations of others?
Do you say 'yes' to everything, even those things you don't want to do...just because you would like to be perceived as 'nice'?

If you answered 'yes' to these questions, chances are you're a true blue 'People Pleaser'.

Seeking External Acceptance
It's not easy to find our way to self-confident thinking in this day and age. Our grades in school and later in University are not only determined by merit, but often by our 'likeability'. Our place in the work force is often determined by the evaluation of 'higher -ups'. Social circles and even family dynamics seem to be run by how well we fit into and serve the tribe rather than promoting individuality. Where I grew up, being 'different' was difficult and definitely not accepted. I know that I am not alone in saying that I acquired the 'disease to please' at an early age.

Many of us grew up thinking that the road to success was paved by making everyone around us happy and never rocking the boat. Even as adults, a lot of people still think that their 'worth' can be measured in how other's view them, the material possessions they have and their 'status' in society. On the other hand, there are a lot of people out there who are starting to wake up feeling 'lost' in the morning and they wonder what happened to their childhood dreams and hopes for a fulfilling future. They can't even begin to describe how or where they lost themselves, all they know is that they want more from life!

How do you break the habit?
What can you do to regain your sense of self and your sense of true purpose in life?
You have to take it one step at a time and learn to take care of yourself first. Make yourself the number one priority rather than always being last on your list. There's a big difference between Self-preservation and being selfish! As Cheryl Richardson says: "You gotta show up for yourself"

Cheryl Richardson is helping people all over the world make these kinds of changes in their lives. Her best-selling book, Take Time for Your Life, has been heavily promoted on the Oprah Winfrey show and in bookstores around the world. Here are some ideas from her book that can help cure you of the disease to please.

Make an absolute 'yes' list.

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Here's the follow-up discussion on this article: View all related messages
1.   Aug 21, 2000 3:54 PM
Dear Ami,
I know that I have suffered from the Disease to Please, and still do to a lesser extent.Pleasing other people becomes automatic after suffering from this disease for a long time, even when ...

-- posted by CrabApple



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