Healing From Childhood Abuse

What constitutes childhood abuse? Anything that a parent or an adult in a position of authority over a child does to constantly limit a child's capacity to fulfill all of his/her needs. Abuse includes emotional ridiculing, neglect, physical abuse and sexual abuse. Anything that makes a child feel anxiety or damages his/her self-esteem is classified as abuse.

All types of abuse limits a child's opportunity to satisfy his/her needs and the needs of others. The child then focuses on his/her survival. Abuse survivors almost always are over-developed in ways of compensating. They're almost always under-developed in ways to satisfy their own needs.

Research tells us that over 80% of people who have experienced any type of childhood abuse will become dependent on drugs or alcohol, often at a young age. The substance abuse is used to hide the pain that envelopes their mind and soul.

People who have suffered some form of childhood abuse become addicted to drugs and alcohol to help boost their self-esteem. Often, by abusing these substances, they can do things that they would otherwise be unable to do. The substance abuse acts to manage psychological effects such as nightmares and flashbacks.

Post Traumatic Stress (PTS) is always experienced after either a physical or emotional trauma. It is nature's way of causing an unbearable life experience to become bearable. PTS helps us to survive overwhelming negative emotions that we have suppressed. PTS can be experienced for months or years after the first symptoms appear. Some symptoms of PTS are substance abuse, nervousness, sleep disorders, emotional pain and anxiety disorders. PTS symptoms are a normal part of recovery from trauma. Only in the last ten years have PTS symptoms been accepted as a normal response to child abuse. Before that many doctors didn't even use the phrase Post Traumatic Stress. Now, it is an integral part of the healing process for survivors of childhood abuse.

People who have been victims of childhood abuse often repeat the pattern throughout their lives. Women who were physically abused as children often choose an abuser as a spouse. These patterns are not the fault of the victim. Abuse for them is a learned behavior. They have suppressed their needs as children in order to survive. As adults, they don't realize what is happening and continue to accept abuse as a normal part of life.

How can we heal from childhood abuse? First, the abuse must have stopped. If, as an adult, the victim is still suffering from abuse, they cannot begin to heal. They must get out of the abusive relationship. Only after taking this step can healing begin. The second step is to confront the abuser. Only do this if you can do so safely. You will need to have a network of support from friends, family, or both. The better the support system, the more chance of being healed. Be sure to realize that the abuser will most likely deny that the abuse ever occurred. The healing comes not from hearing the abuser confess, but from the ability to speak out against it and make it known that it won't be tolerated. The victim must admit both the physical and emotional impact that the abuse had on his/her life. This allows the abuse to become a reality to the victim. Once this happens, the control of the abuser over the victim has been broken.

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