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The Importance of Bonding With Your Child. - Page 2

© Mary M. Alward

If there is no motherly bonding whatsoever with a child, the result is a profound negative effect. This would occur when babies are abandoned at birth or sent directly to an institution. The child will have little or no physical or emotional bonding with its caregivers unless it is adopted quickly. Often, the staff or even a foster mother is so overworked that they do not have time to bond with a child. If they do, this can lead to negative affects when the child and the caregiver are separated.

One of these negative affects can be produced by the child’s own body. Cortisol is a stress-related hormone that is regulated by the pituitary-adrenal system. It works with adrenaline to regulate sugar levels in the blood. Cortisol dampens the body’s reaction to stress by suppressing the immune system. Touch is crucial to the regulation of the stress-response system. It can affect a child’s motor skills and memory. During the average day a typical child’s cortisol level peaks in the morning and decreases in the evening. In children with no motherly attachment, the cortisol levels continue to increase during the morning and only decrease slightly by evening.

In the nineties and probably well into the future, more children are being placed in daycare centers. The staff of these facilities becomes the child’s primary caregiver. This title also includes parents, grandparents or any other person who cares for the child during the day.

Infants and small children form a bond with the person who diapers, feeds and comforts them. Researchers have found that 50% of children form the same type of bond with primary caregivers as they form with their mothers. The only difference is that 70% of children form a close bond with their mother. The lower rate of bonding with caregivers probably reflects a lower quality of care and closeness.

Studies have found that children who have formed a close bond with primary caregivers are sociable and gregarious. Those children lacking a secure bond are more likely to be antisocial, withdrawn, hostile and aggressive.

Bonding develops through interaction. Breastfeeding, reading to your child or any activity where you spend one-on-one quality time with your child turns into a bonding experience. Horseplay, heart-to-heart talks and just listening intently to what you child has to say can create a strong bond that will last forever.

Research has found that society needs to find ways to ensure that mothers can stay home with their children. This usually, though not always, ensures high quality care and a firm bonding process.

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