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The Importance of Bonding With Your Child.

© Mary M. Alward

Research has proven that without a secure mother figure, a child who is exposed to unexpected events will have an intense stress reaction. When the doctor cuts the umbilical cord at birth, the physical attachment to our mothers cease. This is when psychological and emotional attachments begin.

Being physically attached to our mothers while in the womb is a life-sustaining adherence. Without it, we would never be born but research has shown that emotional and psychological attachment provides a foundation that allows us to thrive in the world. A firm bond between mother and child affects reactions later in life. It reflects how well children do in school, how they build relationships with friends and how well they react to stressful or new situations.

Babies often become very attached to a primary caregiver. In the 1950’s, this was usually their mother. In the ‘90’s and well into the future, it was, and will continue to be, more often than not, someone else.

Babies who are securely attached to a mother figure feel she is a safe base from which they can explore the world. They are assured by the presence of this mother figure and go to her when they are hurt, stressed or frightened. If the child does not have a concrete bond with their mother figure, they still seek her out but she is not of great comfort or assurance. This leaves a definite void in their lives. If a bonding occurs between a child and caregiver, what impact does this have on a child’s life? It has been found that children who have formed a deep bond and suffer loss of the person they are bonded to will become less secure.

Infants who experience a deep bonding with their mothers become very independent at a young age. This bond also boosts their self-esteem. It is the most important part of a child’s life. Even when their lives are stable, the bonding process enables them to be self-reliant and enjoy relationships with their peers. These children are also more successful in school, especially in mathematics. Bonding creates within the child a sense of confidence and a positive attitude. This influences both attendance and achievement.

It has been found that the lack of bonding in infants can have a life-lasting effect on a child. Infants who don’t bond are more likely to become anxious and insecure. However, if their mothers enter into a loving relationship and are no longer stressed and depressed, the infant will become more secure. Infants are deeply affected by the emotions of those around them, especially their mother or mother figure.