Garden Quiz: You're Spending Too Much Time in the Garden When...

Are you spending a little too much time in the garden? Would you rather putter around in the garden than watch TV, read or eat? Do you find that you can't relax in your backyard for more than five minutes before getting up to pull a weed, deadhead a flower, give a plant a drink, etc?

Let's settle this dilemma right now. Here's a test to find out whether you really are spending too much time in the garden. Gardening, by the way, is the nation;s number-one leisure activity.

1. I now have more garden-seed catalogs than CD's or DVD's.

TRUE: When you start replacing other family members'reading material in the bathroom with garden catalogs, it's an act of social conscience. And they're sure to appreciate the new reading material.

FALSE: Gardeners always have catalogs. Quit reading this and go watch TV.

2. Despite a completely automatic irrigation system, including timers that turn the water on and off by itself, I prefer hand-watering my garden with the hose.

TRUE: Hey, what else are you going to do in your spare time?

FALSE: You'll rather spend your spare moments in quality time, breaking up arguements between the kids, reading sophisticated material like People magazine or exercising for all of two minutes before you have to stop because of a side ache.

3. In completely private coments, I practice Latin pronounciations of names of tricky plants.

TRUE: But the real question should be -- "have you ever been caught?" No one understands...even after you explain the correct pronunciation of "arctostaphylos."

FALSE: Hey, how are you going to concentrate on Latin pronunciations if your car stereo is belting out hits from Snoop Doggy Dog, Metallica or Blur?

4. I no longer avoid squirrels when I drive on a country road.

TRUE: Actually with your exquisite intuition, you realize that squirrel had a death wish anyway.

FALSE: You're sticking with cayenne, garlic and fake snakes and owls to scare the squirrels, birs and other wildlife out of the garden.

5. Overalls and garden galoshes are suddenly beginning to look quite sexy.

TRUE: Heck, overalls are a lot more useful than those panty things he gave you for Valentine's Day. And what the heck is it with tassels?

FALSE: Are you either A.) a guy, or B.) a woman who hangs around too many billiard halls.

6. I'm starting to seriously think about planting some flowers in the park down the street.

TRUE: Watch it. Do this kind of thing once or twice and people call you "crazy." Do it too much and they start calling you a "landscaper."

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