Help! I'm listing and I can't stop

Ms. Budget Travel promises that she'll work very hard to control her list-compulsion. She is trying very, very, hard to stop listing things but she can't seem to help herself. Please send donations of chocolate in small denominations, tequila in shot glasses, and cash (all currencies accepted) to Ms. Budget Travel at erev591324@aol.com

Last week, Ms Budget Travel was in Rome, she was rather wrinkled and mismatched and as such could never be mistaken for an Italian. The Italians, as always, looked gorgeous.

Here we go, Once more with feeling

One more list . . .

In Italian sandwhich bars and cafes, you usually pay more for your food if you eat it at a table. Standing at the counter or take-away prices are cheaper.

Only a minimal difference exists between a cheap curry in London and an expensive one --- the difference is usually in the décor.

In the southeastern United States, iced tea is available year round, heavily sweetened, with a ton of sugar. If you want unsweetened tea, you must ask. The waitress will look at you at you with a mixture of curiosity and pity. And, BTW, that's "sweet tea" not sweetened tea."

Also, in the southeast US, jokes about grits are not funny.

Any time you purchase a hotel-flight combination take advantage of hotel transfers if they are offered at a reasonable rate, except if your package is in London. Most packages involving London combine with a minivan or such to your hotel that bounces you around in traffic for an hour. In London take the train, anywhere else, buy the transfer.

If you must get from Gatwick to Heathrow via the bus figure on three hours to make the switch.

No matter how carefully you plan, or how many times you review the contents of your suitcase, you will forget something. You didn't need it anyway.

Many "great sights" are not what photographs have caused you to expect. Most of the glorious photos of the coliseum in Rome don't show you the lanes of traffic whizzing around. Instead of being disappointed --- enjoy it - the world is full of marvelous absurdities: Cardiff Castle looming at the end of a shopping street, Jesuits rushing past miniskirted teens at the Vatican, large men forced to wear a baggy skirt over their clothing in order to visit a mosque, attack pigeons in Venice, and goats on buses. Enjoy all the absurdities.

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