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America the Confusing Continued

© Diane Goldberg under the original topic name

The America of car commercials and most movies doesn't exist. We are not all slim attractive joggers living in wide-lawned neighborhoods. We aren't all shrieking loonies battering each other with chairs ala Jerry Springer. Many of us haven't eaten fast food for years; some of us live on it.

The most confusing thing about Americans is that we think we know who we are and we all have different opinions. From Yankee know-how to Southern hospitality, from East Coast traditions, to West Coast trendiness we all think we have a handle on the "real America." We haven't a clue - none of us.

A few years ago, at a Chicago Youth Hostel I met two charming travelers from Cornwall. They had landed in Boston, been overwhelmed by New York and were bound for New Orleans in an effort to see the "real America." They allowed themselves nine days for this voyage of discovery. Poor dears - they were on an express route to exhaustion. Chicago to New Orleans is at least two days of steady driving through incredibly boring interstate - the most real Americana available are hideous billboards advertising roadside chain hotels. Far better to focus your trip to America on a specific region and avoid long haul trips. This brings me to the real paradox of the United States of America . . .

You can change cultures countless times without changing countries

An English-speaking tourist getting off the ferry in France will notice right off that he isn't at home. The language, laws, and social customs are different. We practice a subtle deception here in the States - we all pretend to speak English. Most of us actually speak some form of English, but Brooklyn English is incomprehensible to a Texan and for some strange reason mid-westerners pretend that they can't understand my Carolina drawl.

Customs differ as well. In the southern USA it isn't uncommon for strangers to speak to you on the street in smaller towns, nodding and smiling seem obligatory. In some parts of the Northeast, the same behavior can net you an odd glance or a mugging.

If culture clash makes you long for drink, best not be in a dry county. In some parts of the States no alcohol at all is sold, in others it is sold in state-run stores yet not in restaurants, in others you can pick up a bottle in a grocery store. Further confusion results when you check bar closing times that vary from state to state and may affect the hours or day you can purchase wine in the supermarket. It's enough to drive you to drink.