This week, I would like to focus on a very important person in the nursing relationship: daddy. I recently watched a popular sitcom which touched on how a father may feel watching his wife and baby connect. It reminded me of how my husband felt while I was nursing.
There were times when he wanted to be closer to our children while they were nursing, so we took steps to ensure his connection with them was equally strong. It doesn't take much, but we learned every little moment counts. The bonds that were made during infancy between my husband and our sons are still felt today.
One of the best times to connect with a newborn is during feeding times. If mom is breastfeeding, dad may feel a little left out. But there are other ways to bond with baby without having to offer nourishment. Many men are tired of hearing the phrase, "bond with your baby during diaper changes or baths," but this really is a great time to get to know your little one.
Of the three most common caretaking practices during the first month of life (feeding, changing and bathing), dad can have the opportunity to bond with baby during two of the times when baby is most awake and alert. When those little eyes are searching for safety during a diaper change, daddy can be there to offer comfort and reassurance.
Comfort offered by touch is very powerful. During a bath, dad's big hands can offer even more security. Take this time to massage little arms and legs with care. Talk to your baby, let her get to know the person whose voice she heard muffled in the womb.
Part of the special bond between nursing mom and baby comes from skin-to-skin contact. Dad can participate in this as well by cradling baby next to him after a bath or during a change of clothes.
Carrying baby in a sling or baby carrier can also offer a wonderful way to bring closeness to father and baby. Learning the way dad walks, the gait and bounce that is uniquely his, can form a connection of comfort for baby. It is common for a baby to prefer being held in daddy's strong arms.
Sometimes these activities still leave dad feeling as if he is missing something deeper. Watching baby nurse contentedly at mom's breast may still be something dad would like to experience to some degree. While nipple confusion is something to consider, especially when the milk supply is being established and baby is learning the breast, having dad offer an occasional bottle of expressed breastmilk should be considered.
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