If you have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or you know, work with, live with and or love someone who does life can be quite the roller-coaster ride.
Why is this? One could argue the explanation is long, complex, and involved. Yet, simply stating the obvious might be beneficial also. The roller-coaster ride that most borderlines know so well has all to do with their inability to maintain stable moods. Moods shift as feelings shift and feelings shift as thoughts are processed. If one ruminates upon any one thought, or group of thoughts, one will prolong a mood. If one dwells more heavily upon one's feelings the result can often be a myriad of reactions. Fear is at the base of most of what a borderline feels. Fear that he/she is out of control or will lose control. Fear that he/she is not liked. Fear that he/she is not being heard and the damage and or aggravation that can cause. Fear that he/she will be triggered by the slightest thing back to a very painful aspect of development gone asunder. Fear that he/she is not normal. Fear that no one will ever like, love or value him/her, and so on. For many with BPD their fear is not rational. Their fear is not of what is actually unfolding in the present as much as it is of old wounds and scars.
Borderlines react to their fears, not unlike most people, through the use of defense mechanisms. Many of these defense mechanisms are "child-like" and or primitive. They throw people off guard because these defense mechanisms in action are usually far more intense than any given situation calls for to those who are not borderline.
Defense mechanisms such as splitting, projection, ttransference and the like become second nature to the borderline. These are the methods, or behaviors through which borderlines seek to appease their many fears. Within the drama that the cognitive distortions fuel with this personality disorder misconceptions and misperceptions are the rule not the exception. Herein lies the roller-coaster reality of BPD and of the fear of the unknown.
Much is unknown for many borderlines. Much of what most adults without BPD know, understand or have experienced, especially in the context of relationships is not well-understood by most borderlines.
Fear is a powerful motivator. For many who end up diagnosed with BPD they have good reason to be harbouring the fears that they have. The problem with harbouring these fears and with trying to cope with them through an elaborate and multifacted system of defense mechanisms is that it separates those with BPD from those who do not have BPD. This is true in terms of
