Most borderlines (until a certain amount of healing takes place) do not see "other", they do not see you, they see only themselves. You, if you exists, emotionally to your borderline are likely just a mirror reflecting back what the borderline chooses to see about him/herself. More often than not,the borderline will not accept what is in this reflection and will transfer on to "other" what is unacceptable to him/herself about him/herself.
In my opinion, you (non-borderline) cannot "make" a borderline see anything, understand anything or "get it". The changes necessary for any borderline to "get it" (to emotionally grow up) and be able to relate in an age-appropriate way -- consistently must come from within. The borderline has to want to first recognize that change may be necessary in order for him/her to be able to build and sustain relationships. The borderline has to come to an understanding of how he/she effects those around them. Then he/she has to learn how to be in touch with their conscience and ability to hear what others say, to appreciate how others feel etc, aside from oneself. The borderline is often caught in a very self-absorbed trap which itself is a defense mechanism by which the borderline seeks to not feel annihilated. (That is to say it is a protection against any preceived or real threat to what is already a fragmented and vulnerable ego)
When I was in the worst throes of BPD, no one could help me. I know this first hand. Many people tried. I would just use them and turn everything on them. I didn't know any other way to relate. I didn't know I was doing that for a long time. Whatever I felt those around me had better feel too or there would be hell to pay. If I felt something that no one else felt
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