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Page 2
We decided to sabotage the marriage. We took every opportunity to use anything said by one parent as a weapon against the other. We let our feelings be hurt or our tempers flare at the slightest provocation. We let it be known that we were not happy with the new situation and made their first few months a living hell. We would even plan some of these ways to rock the boat together. We would argue with each other over everything. We would question every new rule and refuse to cooperate on family outings. We would sulk in our room and not talk to the parents for a day or two.
We hadn't counted on Mom and Step-Dad's love for each other, or their understanding of the situation. They had figured out what was going on and were determined to make things work. We were all scheduled to go to family counseling. The first couple sessions me and step-brother sat in the therapist's office close mouthed and sullen. Mom and Step-Dad did most of the talking, and the therapist just shook his head at times and asked a couple of questions. The third session he asked to see one of us at a time. It was an eye opening experience for me. I admitted that I resented my Step-Father and Step-Brother for the attention my Mother gave them. I also resented being what I felt was demoted in the family after they came into our lives. I went from Man of the House to middle child. In talking with my 16 year old Step-Brother, he realized he resented his Father being taken from his daily life activities, not being able to have his Father available anytime he wanted, to talk with him and do things with him. He resented sharing him with another family. He had always been his Dad's special boy. The therapist called us all in together once again. We talked openly and told each other about our feelings. We realized that our feelings were all based on insecurity. We were afraid of losing the love of our parent. After several sessions we realized that we not only did not lose the love of our parent, but we gained the love of a new person/persons in our lives. Instead of something being taken from us, we were gaining a new dimension to our family. We had become a blended family.
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