We went to our first session, and to my disappointment it was a man instead of a woman. As a child and as a teenager I used have a way with most older women, you see. I'd flash them my smile, and I could get away with quite a bit. I decided to make the best of the situation, but I asked to come in alone first. He said that was fine, and we went into his small office. The temperature was at least 95 degrees in there, and it wasn't long before I was perspiring as I told him about my childhood, my teenhood, my brothers and my parents. He was very low-keyed and asked a few questions, but mostly he just sat back and listened, making a note on a pad of paper now and then. He then asked if he could have my parents come in so he could get a little information from them. I said okay. I wanted to appear very cooperative. It was my intention to show him that I was a 'good kid' and was just misunderstood by my wicked stepfather, and that my mother was just a pawn of my stepfather's. In my other blended family, my father went along with everything the stepmother wanted him to do, and I felt that neither set of parents cared about me anymore. As soon as they found a partner, I was suddenly shoved into the background. When I wanted something, they had to check with their new partner first. I went from being pampered and special because of the guilt feelings of putting me through the separation and divorce, moving from my home into a new place, going through two weddings to virtual strangers, and moving once again. What did they expect?
Oops. I could see my counselor's head bobbing while he was scribbling notes, and I knew I was in for the long haul. I have this habit of not knowing when to shut my mouth.
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