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Family Ties from an 11 Year Old's Viewpoint

© Aaron Joseph Goebel

A blended family's relationship can be very fragile. Statistics seem to show that it usually takes about 7 years for a blended family to really blend. Many don't last two years. As for my blended family, we're going on our second year and it's been really rough. I haven't made it any easier, I must admit, but there is so much going on inside my head that it is really hard for me to reverse roles and put myself in my step-parent's shoes. But I thought you might like getting the perspective of my 11 year old brother. Here is his view, with a little help from me in the punctuation department:

First of all, since both my parents remarried, the rules in both households changed. Before their marriages, we 'children' were the center of attention. We were also allowed to get away with so much more than we were before or since. We were allowed to stay up later on school nights, weekends, and didn't have to really pick up after ourselves much. Face it -- we were spoiled rotten. The guilt our parents felt at what we were going through caused them to overdo it during this period of time when they were going through the divorce, out on their own trying to juggle work, home, and looking for another relationship to fill the void. (My brother's opinion).

Then it happened. They both miraculously hooked up with special people around the same time. We didn't get to go through it one at a time. We were hit head on with both barrels. We'd been pretty much running wild and having a good old time for close to a year, and now we were suddenly told we had to conform to rules set forth by our parents along with their new significant others.

Did this go over well? NO -- I don't THINK so. We were all convinced that the changing of the rules were due to the new wicked step-parents. We didn't like it one bit. We decided to stick together and rebel.

Our parents decided we needed family counseling! ACK. Nothing like good old family counseling. What I learned from Family Counseling: Say what the counselor wants to hear and you'll get out of there quickly. I said what the counselor wanted to hear, but as little as possible, but my older brother seemed to want to talk, so we had to return quite a few times before they quit making me go with them. During this time I did kinda learn a few things, though. I learned that the step-parents couldn't make my parents do anything they didn't want to do. They are grown-ups and it was a joint agreement for them to set up rules for us. They think they are doing "what's best" for the family. If we want to stay a family, we have to cooperate, whether we agree or not.

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