Never make any decisions without your partner's total agreement. Consider yourself as a team, and be careful not to do anything that hurts the other. In order to reach this joint agreement, it is important to be open minded and to negotiate. Listen to what your partner says and don't totally negate their point of view or replace it with yours. When you find something that you can agree on, make a note of it. If you come to an impasse, take a break and come back to the discussion later. Don't close communication by becoming angry or irate with the other's point of view. You must remember that you are two individuals who have lived apart many years and have many different ideas. You've chosen to come together to be a family, and if you want it to work, you must make a full effort and be willing to make concessions. If this is successful, you will receive as much as you give.
When you decide to marry another, you are putting them before yourself. It is important in a successful relationship to always place the other before you. When this ceases to be, the relationship is in deep trouble. In a blended family situation, the children are often placed before the spouse by one or the other, usually out of guilt feelings by the biological parent. It is important that your children know you love them and that will never change, but it is extremely important that your significant other knows they are number one in your life. You must keep the trust, love and romance in your relationship in order to be the best parent to the children. If you aren't happy, they aren't happy. You cannot fully give of yourself when you're unhappy within yourself.
Here is an excellent site that explores all aspects of coming to a joint agreement with your partner and how to save your marriage:
How To Raise Children in a Blended Family and Keep Love In Your Marriage
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